I’ve never done a hockey liveblog before for a few reasons:

1) This is a football blog.
2) I never followed hockey at all until the past couple of years, and know next to nothing about the sport.
3) I’m typically at home hockey games.

However, for the FIRST TIME EVER, I shall perform some awesome liveblogging of tonight’s game against Northern Michigan. While I will always cheer for Michigan teams (even if a loss can result in an Amaker firing), I’m cheering doubly for the team tonight, because if they lose, I have to work at the game tomorrow.

I apologize in advance for my essentially utter lack of hockey knowledge. Because of this, I may not be saying much all that often. FSN Detroit coverage started a few minutes ago, so now I just await the drop of the puck (that’s what faceoffs are called, right?) Another important fact to note is that I have a life, and may or may not end this blog early to do something with my weekend.

7:39 Puck drops. The announcer REALLY needs to learn that David Rohlfs’s first name is not “Dale.” I realize that I know very few players names based on their numbers, and will probably refer to a lot of guys by number, rather than name.
7:41 Uh, the puck has been on our half of the ice for a long time. Maybe we should go the other way.
7:42 Since I don’t know a whole lot about hockey, I’ll probably comment mostly on peripheral things to the game. One such thing is as follows: the announcers fucking suck. Give me O’Day and Breece!
7:43 A fun little loose puck thing happens, and Hensick collects it. Finding himself conveniently in a one-on-one situation with the goalie, he shoots, he scores. 1. We want. Mooooooore Goals.
7:45 Kolarik takes a shot off a beautiful feed from Cogs, but Zaniboni makes the save. This leads me to the realization that NMU has switched goalies since last night, going to Zaniboni who started most of the year.
7:48 Great color commentary. “Hensick is 10th on the Michigan all-time scoring list. He needs one more to move into ninth. Actually, that would make him tied for ninth.” TV Timeout 1-0 UM 12:25 1st Period
7:51 Billy does the splits to make a save, not freezing the puck or clearing it out.
7:52 I guess it didn’t turn out too poorly, as Cogs gets it to JMFJ for a goal. That would make it 2-0. Per the announcers, the teams are playing 4-on-4, though there was never any mention of a penalty.
7:54 Hensick makes a sweet move behind the net to get alone with the puck out front but Tim Cook(? #25) decides to wait approximately seven minutes before actually taking the shot, allowing Zaniboni to get back in position. NMU commits a penalty, UM on the PP. Cump, dick, wuss, etc.
7:58 Michigan penalty coming up. TV Timeout 2-0 UM 7:37 1st Period.
8:00 NMU scores on the power play, 2-1 UM. I don’t think I remember seeing a legit power play set up by the Wildcats last night.
8:02 Cogliano does this thing where he skates around a bunch of guys and scores. Hooray! 3-1 UM 5:55 1st Period, Zaniboni is a sieve. TV Timeout.

I have determined that this here liveblog shall end after one period, because I get the distinct impression that I look like an idiot trying to talk about a sport whose intricacies, etc. are but a mystery to me.

8:05 David Rohlfs’s name is still not Dale, a fact that will probably bring much embarrassment to the play-by-play idiot when someone whispers it in his ear. He is brutally bad.
8:06 Zaniboni gets hit in the head with a shot. Let’s just say he’s lucky it wasn’t JMFJ.
8:08 For like 80% of the time the teams are at even strength, it looks like Michigan is on the power play, as they seem to be able to just set up camp in the offensive zone and pass it at will. JMFJ has a sweet play where he goes up the ice and has a good look at the net, but the puck ends up on top of the net after he fakes some dude out going between his legs.
8:10 Porter scores directly off the faceoff, putting Michigan up 4-1 early. This one might be over by the time the 2nd period rolls around (especially considering it already seems to be). 1, 2, 3, 4, we want more goals.
8:12 For the size of the network, I’m surprised how poor FSN Detroit’s Coverage is. I’m at least as good a cameraman as theirs, and their announcers make me want to tear my eyeballs out. 4-1 UM End 1st Period.

Time to go socialize. Enjoy the rest of the game.

Posted under Hockey